Hello! 

My ketones were back up to 1.0 this morning, which was a nice surprise after they had been so low for a few days. I decided yesterday that I need to improve my stress management, and started yesteday with a guided meditation. I used to meditate daily and I really feel like it is effective in so many ways. I feel calmer, more productive and focused, and much less stressed when I meditate daily. 

I also have not been happy with my skating and feel that I do better when I am visualizing skating well and feeling confident, so I need to write out a new roller derby visualization to practice. I also have been finding myself annoyed with people when they suggest things I can do to improve. I get annoyed with people because I am already really hard on myself, and chances are I have already been beating myself up about whatever it is that I did not do well or need to improve on. That said, I know suggestions are intended to help me and I realize getting annoyed when people try to help me is not acceptable. 

The font that I have been using on this blog is pretty hard to read, so I think I am going to go ahead and use something different. 

Something else that bothers me is that I sometimes act like a know it all. I  have a hard time letting things go when I know someone is wrong. I will start out polite saying something like "I don't think that is how it works" but when they insist that it is I usually have a hard time leaving it at that instead of setting them straight. 

Work is busy right now, and I am getting ready to go play OKVD so I need to actually get pretty far ahead. 

Speaking of work- I had better get at it. 

♥
Erica

Enjoy the guided meditation I did this morning: 

Food Journal
Yesterday
----------------------------------------

breakfast 
2 eggs scrambled with green chili and cheese
2 slices bacon
1 cup fatty coffee.
( I noticed some add supplements. I take Vitamin D, Multivitamin, Potassium, Magnesium and desiccated liver) 

Lunch
not hungry

Snack
2 oz cheese (a variety of what I had small thin slices of: raw cheddar, robusto, dubliner. Yum. ) 

Dinner
5oz chicken tikka masala, less than 1/2 cup sauteed squash, 1 cup salad (mixed greens, dressing, olives, sprinkled with Parmesan) 


Calories:1238 Carbs: 16 Fat: 92 Protein: 73

Water- about 7 large glasses.

Yikes! I missed my post yesterday!

My kids were out of the house for a few hours and I really wanted to take advantage of the peace and quiet and write then without distraction. Unfortunately the time they were gone flew by, as did the rest of the day. I feel like I have been annoyed lately, and I would really prefer to focus on the things I am happy about rather than the things that annoy me. Lately I find myself in the shower bitching in my head about one thing or another. Yesterday it was calories. I think calories are stupid. I spent a while ranting in my brain about it. I planned to continue the rant here, but did not get around to it.

Today it was last nights roller derby practice.

Suddenly, while scrubbing my knees, I realized that bitching- about anything- is a really shitty way to start the day. When negativity is the first thing that pops into my head, it seems that is likely to continue as the day progresses. I changed my focus to  the many things I am happy about and thankful for in my life (my amazing husband, kids, having an awesome house and everything we need, loving my job, etc.) and I hope to do this more often when I a catch myself falling in to a negative mindset.

So... for today I would really like to... STAY POSITIVE!


Food Journal For Yesterday
----------------------------------

breakfast
2 eggs scrambled with green chili and cheese
2 slices bacon
1 cup fatty coffee.

Lunch
Broccoli cooked in a little grassfed butter
one egg scrambled

Snacked on 4 slices of large pepperoni in the afternoon.

Bone Broth Before Practice

Dinner/late snack after practice... 2 slices raw cheese a little carne asada (bought a total of .3 lbs and used less than 1/3 of container... so whatever that is) and 1/2 avocado and fatty chai.

Everything is going well, and like most people, I tend to stay more quiet when all is well. I am going to try to write in this every day- not sure that is likely, but I am hoping to spend just a few minutes here every day before I check my email and my orders. Unfortunately, today was supposed to be my first day doing that and I already failed! I have already checked and answered my personal and work email, my etsy shop, my facebook,  and two message boards I look at (a low carb one and the etsy one). So, tomorrow I hope to do a little better.

My weight loss journey is going well, generally. I have lost over 20 lbs in about 6 weeks rather effortlessly. After trying for over 5 years with no improvement I am extremely pleased with that. I still have a long way to go, but I am making great strides towards my goal, and my overall health has improved dramatically. I have energy, my skin has improved, joint pain has gone away, and my teeth feel strong and look healthy and white.... just to name a few ways I feel better.

I love ketosis.

Unfortunately, I learned for the third time yesterday that my body can not tolerate fruit.  After having a PAPER THIN slice of watermelon that was LESS THAN AN INCH, square I noticed keto-flue symptoms, and when I checked my ketones I was barely in ketosis. Yikes. I should add, that was eaten with a meal. I find it really amazing that such a tiny amount of fruit and carbs could have such a huge effect on me. I think it is the fructose, our bodies metabolize fructose differently. I am shaky on the facts, so I will listen to more talks about that today while I work.

Speaking of work, I should get to that...

Take care !

♥ erica

Hi All!

I am still loving Nutritional Ketosis, or  LCHF if you are outside of the USA.

My weight has been teetering between 231 and 234 for several days, but I think I have also gained quite a bit of muscle, so it is all good. Last week I was struggling through workouts, but over the weekend it felt like I had a breakthrough, and felt pretty awesome through two hard fought derby games. I also felt pretty good yesterday at my speed skating class.

Here are my top five favorite blogs about Nutritional Ketosis, in no real order:

1. http://www.dietdoctor.com/
2. http://www.grassfedgirl.com/
3. http://eatingacademy.com/
4. http://www.eatlowcarbhighfat.com/
5. http://livinlavidalowcarb.com/blog/

Up next I really want to figure out how to get myfitnesspal.com set up for ketosis.

In other news, my husband, who does not need to lose weight is doing LCHF with me, and starting to sprout a 6 pack. Damn his superior genes, we should all be so lucky! ♥   I am a tad jealous that it is so easy for him, but he is a sweetheart and a very very handsome man, so I forgive him.

So, a few days of food:

Sunday
Breakfast
3 oz green juice 2pc bacon, Scrambled eggs
Snacked on some salami from whole foods during the day
drank some coffee with butter
had a cup of broth
for dinner I attempted keto pizza, which was delicious, but fell apart when we ate it. We had that with a salad.

Monday
2 boiled eggs and green juice
snacked on a few bits of cheese
2 cups coffee with cream, butter and coconut oil
dinner was a filet wrapped in bacon with a salad

Today so far:
bacon, scrambled eggs
1 cup butter/coconut oil coffee
snacked on some pepperoni from whole foods
Steak smothered in butter and mushrooms


Take Care !

♥Erica

Ketosis!

 I have abandoned many of my former beliefs about nutrition and retained many and am now eating a Ketogenic diet. I say it that way because I am not on a ketogenic diet in the sense that it is something I intend to do to lose weight and then come off of.  As long as I continue to see health benefits from it, I hope to remain on this ketogenic diet indefinitely. Since this blog was started my weight has ranged from 235-239 on the high end, almost exactly where I left off after having Penelope- which is a little disappointing because I did manage to get down to about 207 after over a year of training and fairly restrictive dieting (it was gained back in maybe 6 months, most significantly adding on during a 3 month break from roller derby). Since I started eating a ketogenic diet I have lost about 10 lbs (weighing in at 228 this morning, even though I started my period today and USUALLY gain about 10 lbs the week of my period that comes off week following my period). That is pretty exciting!

That said, I am going to wait a little longer to celebrate, because several of the times I have tried something new my body reacted really strongly for the first week, and then realized that it was losing weight and without me making changes to my eating and exercise habits I would quickly gain it back.

I do feel extremely optimistic, because I checked my ketone levels today and I am in KETOSIS! Woot! What that means, is that there is no sugar left in my body to be used as fuel and now my body is burning fat and using ketones for fuel. I was not sure I would make it, as I am still juicing and even green veggies have  carbohydrates.

I would like to add, that in addition to that I am feeling super awesome... at least for the most part. The past several days I have had some moments in the afternoons when I feel hot and sleepy, and another odd feeling that I do not really know how to describe. It usually happens after lunch or after my afternoon snack and passes in 1-2 hours. I have read that these can be normal and are often more severe when the body is transitioning into ketosis. If anyone has ever transitioned from eating primarily processed foods to eating a clean diet it is a similar experience. I am not really sure what causes it, but I always see it as my body cleaning out the junk.

I am pretty excited about all of this, and  How We Get Fat by Gary Taubes. I still have a few chapters left because my reading time is so scarce, but I plan to write more about it when I make it to the end. Then I will need to find a new book to read. I was thinking about reading a book on vegan nutrition for a well balanced knowledge, but I am more interested in Paleo and Ketogenic lifestyles.

Some info about Ketogenic Diets (this woman is awesome... and she is like, 46, which I could not believe):

Food and Exercise Journal entries

I had these written down, but did not get a chance to transpose until now...

••Saturday••

Breakfast: 2pc Whole foods black Forrest bacon, 3 eggs scrambled in bacon grease, Topped with green chili and organic grass-fed cheddar cheese

Snack/part of breakfast: Drank 2 cups of coffee, both with creamer,1tbsp coconut oil and 1/2 tbsp butter ... (spread out over about 3 hours until lunch)

Lunch: 28 oz green juice and slices of cheese

Snack: BIG plate of no-tortilla enchiladas Shredded chicken with grass fed cheddar cheese on top and green chili- also super easy to make.

It is 9pm and I am not hungry at all. I will not be eating more tonight.

♦exercise- very low intensity roller derby practice.

♥Ketone level: moderate

••Friday••

 Breakfast:
2 1/2 boiled omega-3 eggs, glass of green veggie juice (made from a very wide variety of veggies)

Snack/part of breakfast: Drank 2 cups of coffee with creamer and butter... (spread out over about 3 hours until lunch)

Friday Lunch: 2 eggs scrambled in butter sprinkled with organic cheese and a spring mix salad (about 2 cups topped with annies organic goddess dressing and organic cheese)

Friday Snack: (same as lunch)

Additional food: Drank an additional 28 oz of green juice.

Friday Dinner: 80/20 %  Grass fed hamburger... large-ish cooked rare, no bun, pickles, wrapped in romaine lettuce (not used to eating meat this way :/ )  salad  (about 2 cups topped with annies organic goddess dressing and organic cheese)

♦exercise- Rock Climbing with Adam and Autumn

••Thursday••

Thursday Lunch:
Lunch 3 scrambled eggs cooked in bacon grease with cheese sprinkled on it and a salad (spring mix annies organic goddess dressing, cheese)

Thursday dinner:
2 pc Whole Foods Black Forrest Bacon (only one carb for both slices! I was shocked)


♦exercise- 1 hour speed skating class at roller skate city

Food and Exercise Journal

Last night- Roller Derby practice- 2 hours Breakfast- Green Juice, 3 boiled eggs, coffee with grass-fed butter in it. Snack-3 slices of bacon. I have not had lunch yet, but I am thinking I will probably cook up some scrambled eggs in the bacon grease I have left from that snack, sprinkle it with grass-fed cheese and also eat a spring green salad.

Weekend Entries, and Today's Workout

I didn't keep this up well over the weekend so lets see what I can remember. 

•Friday• night we went to whole foods to buy our groceries and I ate a salad and some chicken tikka masala from their hot and cold salad bar. It was Valentines day and my sweet husband bought me some candy. I ate three of the sees chocolate he brought me over the span of the day. In the evening Adam and I worked out for about 40 min, doing a variety of things, sit ups, push ups, trying to pull myself up on the pull up bar and throwing the medicine ball around. 

•Saturday• I had green juice for breakfast with 2 1/2 hard boiled omega 3 eggs. I went to roller derby practice for three hours, which is great exercise and left me exhausted. I had another bottle of green juice that I drank during my practice, and had two small tortilla sized chicken wraps/tacos when I got home. I took Adam out to dinner to a local steak restaurant. I got the Filet Minion and ate it with a salad. We both got a chocolate torte for dessert. 

•Sunday•

Sunday we had bacon and scrambled omega-3 eggs sprinkled with organic cheese and fresh Green juice. 

For lunch I ate two more small tortilla sized chicken wraps (home made shredded chicken, avocado, greens, cheese on a small tortilla) or soft tacos. I ate one more of my valentines candies in the afternoon. For dinner we had curry chicken (no potatoes, etc) with a salad. 

This morning I did these videos:

I repeated this standing ab workout 3 times, as suggested. I did not feel much of  a burn from it and tried to tighten everything. I did add the weights when suggested. I am curious how it will feel tomorrow. There was a lot of time spent talking instead of working out. I wish it would have done the three reps instead of the one, and then done them faster since the exercises had already been explained once. 

I followed that with this KILLER arm workout. I had to use 8 lb weights instead of 5 lb weights, since I do not have any 5 lb weights. Usually I can switch out 8 for 5 lb weights easily. This one I could barely do with the 8 lb weights. I loved it. By the end I was absolutely sure I'd exhausted my arm muscles. I definitely want to do this one again! 

•Today•  This morning I had 2 1/2 boiled eggs  with green juice. After the workout above I had a snack of an apple and the tiny bit of leftover curry chicken (about 1/3 a breast) we are low on some of the ingredients for our juice, so I will probably not be having any more green juice today. There are plenty of veggies for salads or wraps, so lots of healthy food, just not some crucial juice ingredients. 

Dinner and snack posts, Exercise

My afternoon snack was green juice.

For dinner I had a salad fresh field greens, spicy shredded chicken, salsa, avocado, egg, carrot (no dressing) and one flour tortilla

I went to a speed skating class in the evening.

After the class I drank some juice and rolled up some chicken and lettuce in a tortilla for a post-workout snack.

Lunch and Dinner entries/ecercise

I was going to wait until the morning to put this in, but I was woken up by a headache on my left side accompanied by nausea.

For lunch I had some shredded chicken, and fruit mixed with unsweetened Greek yogurt. I had an apple in the afternoon.

I went to roller derby practice from 6:30-8:30 and I did not have time to eat dinner so took a big container of green juice with protein powder. I ate some cheese when I got home.

What it's All About.

I saw a picture of myself that was taken this weekend, and it made me cry. Things just got REAL.

This is the picture:

I am the one in the dark green with the jeans. I know I am overweight, but I have not seen a picture of myself in a while. I usually feel like I am healthy, so it is easy to forget that I am also about 90 lbs overweight. 

This was me, right before I had kids, when I was in the best shape of my life:

I was hardly slight, at 5'2" and 145-ish pounds and a size 8, but barely recognizable to today's me. 

So, how did I get here? 

I gained all of my extra weight when I had my two children, the youngest is now 2 1/2. I gained 100 lbs with my first Daughter. It was stressful and terrifying. I asked the Gyno about it several times and she just said "You can just lose the extra weight after the baby is born"

After about 2 years of effort with no success, I had an emergency surgery to remove my gall bladder that had crystallized. Within about a month I lost 40 lbs and was finally starting to feel ok again. I decided to have another baby and got pregnant again about 6 months later. I had miscarriage, but in the 6 weeks I was pregnant I gained 60 lbs. Seriously, WTF. 

I told my new gyno, and he suggested going on a low glycemic diet when I got pregnant again a few months later. During that pregnancy I took the drs advice and I gained a normal amount, most of which came off during labor and the few months after, but now I still weigh around 235 lbs from the other pregnancies. 

Since penny was born I have:

•Read countless books on fitness, nutrition, and weight-loss

•Spent over a year working out 3 times a week with a trainer

•completely changed my diet, which now consists primary of lean protein and raw organic produce (including fresh green veggie juice 1-3 times a day) 

•exercised 3-6 days a week including both strength and cardio workouts

•Been tested for lots of things, including but not limited to diabetes and hypoglycemia 

•Started meditations and visualizations

•Lost 20 pounds over a year and a half

• Stopped playing roller derby (but still exercising) and gained 25 over 2 months (no, I am not pregnant) 

When I explain this people seem to imply that I am lying. Sometimes they do not say they think that but I can just tell that they question my efforts by brushing me off and saying "it's hard to lose weight". I lost weight many times before I had kids, and yes, it IS hard, but it has never been this hard. 

I feel like I have been consistent. I feel like I am healthier and happier than I have ever been, except that I am fat... REALLY fat. At this point sometimes I feel like I am fat enough that it is more important to get down to a healthy weight than to do it in a healthy way. After being told enough times that the scale does not lie, I think it is time to document my efforts. It will either ensure I am consistent, or it will (at least sort of) prove I am if I try talking to a doctor or nutritionist about it again. I am hard working, and I take good care of myself. I deserve to be fit and healthy, and I will succeed. 

What I want:

Honestly, at this point I would be satisfied if I got down to a muscular 160-170 lbs and THRILLED to be back to my pre-baby weight of 145. Since I am only 5'2" I really think I can do better than that. I think my ideal weight is 125-130 lbs. and a size 4-6. To get there I need to lose 100+ lbs (weighed in today at 135) and I am wearing a size 18, so I would need to lose 6-8 dress sizes. 

This is another derby skater, and has always been a motivating image and an ideal body: 

That photo is from ESPN and you can read more about the shoot here http://espn.go.com/espnw/body-issue/7053967/suzy-hotrod

At some point I want to be able to do a flag:

(image from recordsetter) 

But I don't even know where to start. 

I want to be able to do pull-ups, and chin ups, and not just one, but sets of them. 

I want to be the best roller derby player I know. 

I am have a degree in fashion design and i hate shopping for clothes. I want to enjoy buying clothes again. 

I want to feel confident in all things, and I want to love myself for the first time. Ever. 

I want to succeed beyond my wildest dreams and do things I have not even thought of yet. 

I want to be able to run for miles, and enjoy it. 

I want to be a positive role model for my children. 

I wan to feel comfortable in a swimsuit. 

I want to be inspirational to others. 

I want to stop hiding from the world. 

I want to be happy and healthy, and live this way for a very long time. 

I want to be the absolute BEST version of 

ME. 

♥ Erica

Todays Workout, Breakfast entry

This first video was an arm and core workout. I did it with 15 lb weights and did the hip raises from my feet. This workout did not feel like I was doing much when I did it, but now that I am done I am suprised to feel shakey. I kind of love that, when it comes to workouts. I will probably do this again, but I may need to invest in bigger weights. 15 lbs was good for this time, but when I was working out with a trainer I did many of these exercises in higher reps, with heavier weights. 

Since I had clearly spent all my muscle glycogen with he first video, I decided to follow it up with a cardio routine. I Chose this dance aerobic video. I remember my mom's Denise Austin Videos from when I was younger, so I am not sure if this video is REALLY old, or if she just has aged pretty well. Some of it seems dated, and some seems very current, so it is hard to tell. 

So, I am not sure about this one. I do like Denise Austin, I love her unique voice, and find it very calming and encouraging, but even after doing a workout, this did not seem to be that tiring. Part of that, I have no doubt, is that it was the first time doing it. Unfortunately, I am not a dancer, and feel a bit like an uncoordinated slob when I do workout videos. Sometimes it feels like I spend so much time trying to figure out the moves that the workout is severely compromised. SO, I think it would be a better workout, IF I do it again. At this point, the chances of doing it again are fairly slim. I did not love the music, and the routine was fine, but not fun enough for me to do it again.

Tomorrow I will be doing derby, so I am not sure I will do a video also.


FOR MY FOOD JOURNAL ENTRY:
 •Breakfast (right after workout) :
2 1/2 boiled omega-3 eggs and a glass of fresh squeezed green veggie juice.

•I had one cup of coffee with cream before my workout, and I plan to have another now.

Today's Workout

Standing Abs: 12.5 min

The production quality on this video was low, but it was an excellent workout! This would be a great one to do every day!

Arm Sculpting: 12.5 min

I liked that this workout worked all muscle groups in my arms. I went with the 3 lb weights she was using, but they were WAY too light for me. My next size up is 8 lbs, and I may try that if I do this one again. I thought the instructor was cute and encouraging, but was hoping for more of a burn. 

Leg and Butt Sculpting: 10 min

For some reason I can not make it show up so I will link to it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QECX7YvzF_c

This was a surprisingly killer workout! I will definitely do it again! I also loved the instructor. 

I probably should have followed up with some cardio since I had already burned off all my glycogen stores, but I had to get to work. 

Every day is a new day, and as someone said, the journey of 1000 miles starts with a single step. 

Take your first step towards a better you, today.